The court finds: defendant exhibits exit-prep behaviour disguised as commitment anxiety. The dispute is not "the flat" but "the relationship". Plaintiff is owed a concrete answer.
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Before appointment, force a binary conversation: walk away from the flat, or walk away from the relationship. No third "we'll see" option.
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4 years and a BTO ballot in hand is not where you discover you "need more time". This is exit prep dressed up as anxiety.
BTO appointment requires both signatures. If he's a no-show you have your answer. Don't chase before then.
I was him. "Not ready" was code for "I met someone else". Took me a year to admit it. Hope he's not me.
Vague reasons + no specific objection = he's hiding the actual reason. Demand specifics. If he can't name them, you have your answer.
Real cold feet sounds like "I'm scared but I want to do this with you". His version doesn't include "with you" at all.
You're right — he never says "us", "we", "together". It's all "I need". I noticed it tonight too.
Reading "exit prep" out loud just gutted me. That's the shape of it.